By Lovetti Lafua
Nurse • Midwife • Biologist • Human Optimization Researcher

If telling women to push is problematic, telling them not to push can be just as harmful.

The Cervical Lip Myth

Women with posterior babies often feel the urge to push before full dilation. The common instruction is:

“Don’t push or your cervix will swell.”

But:
• there is no evidence this happens
• early pushing urge occurs in 20–40% of women
• it is not linked to complications

Telling a woman not to push sends a damaging message:
Your body is wrong. Fight against it.”

This can make it difficult later to trust instinct when she is finally “allowed” to push.

The Trend of “Breathing the Baby Down”

The idea of gently exhaling a baby out is appealing but has unintended consequences.

I’ve supported many women who felt they “failed” because they couldn’t maintain calm,

light breathing against a powerful expulsive reflex. Others were coached to resist their body’s natural push, leaving them distressed and exhausted.

While some hypnobirthing methods promote a no-push birth, I disagree with the idea that the urge to push is merely “conditioning.” All mammals exhibit strong expulsion efforts.

Birth is not meant to be one specific way.

A quiet, gentle birth is beautiful.
A loud, primal, instinctive birth is also beautiful.
Both are valid.